New!

Hey all!

I'm bored . . . and worried! I'm going to try and devote this space to being pretty honest about myself. The one place in the world I can just say something and not feel bad about it. I'm currently experiencing the wild and wonderful College Teacher Strike of '06 and it's leaving me bored and empty. Sadly to say, this experience is only enhancing my already dismal life. Call it a deep rut, ennui, boredom, or a bad case of the Mondays, call it whatever you want but fuck (is swearing allowed on a blog? This is my first time) my life seems to be heading nowhere. It's funny because, at this point I have so much going for me externally. I'm doing well now that I'm back in school, I have a wonderful relationship, I have two of the greatest cats to ever walk the earth, a great apartment, and a small group of good friends. I know I sound like such a whiner, but do you ever feel like you've lost your gleam? Your new car smell is worn out and you realize that you're just some weird imposter that doesn't really fit into anything you thought you were. It's strange, I talked to some friends I used to have and all they could say was how much fun we used to be, and what a crazy, outgoing, nice person I was, and all I could think was how strange a concept that was. I don't do anything crazy now. I'm afraid of people, of talking to them or making new friends, like they will now that I'm a faker. I'm certainly not nice. I used to care but I find more and more I'm just a bit bitter and cynical. With what who knows?

As I go over this whole thing, I'm thinking what good is this blog, I can't possibly tell my friends to come here and read my whiny thoughts. But then again, they know what a blog is for and I think ranting and outpouring ones soul is a valid blogspretion. So I will put it up. I'll be brave. Now!